I have been trying to get into the modeling industry for a few years now. Last summer I submitted an application into Model Mayhem but then withdrew it a couple of days later. As my application was sitting in the queue to be viewed I started to nonchalantly browse the models who have already made it through, well that made me nervous. I started to pick myself apart like; my boobs aren’t big enough, my hair isn’t long enough or pretty enough, I’m skinny but I’m not toned like her, I’m too pale, etc. I mean the list was endless. So like I said I withdrew my application. That made me realize that I had a lot of insecurities about myself. It didn’t take long for me to realize that I wasn’t alone. There are countless people out there that feel insecure about themselves. The more I read or listened to other people stories the more I found a common thing with all of them. Their insecurity (regardless of what it was) stopped them from doing something they loved or hindered them in some way. That my friends is when I decided I wasn’t going to let mine stop me.
I then started my journey. I started “soul searching”. My husband I would like to add has been extremely patient and supportive of everything. It took me a little while to figure myself out. I found some hobbies I really enjoy and some other little things that interest me. I even tried some new foods and met some interesting people along the way. All these things I would have never done before. I can honestly say that even today I am still learning things about myself but now I am excited about it instead of scared of it. I decided that while I was growing more comfortable and confident about myself I could also be helping other feel the same. I don’t try to keep track but I can say that I have successfully helped a handful of people already, anywhere from young girls to grown men to see their own potential or help them open their minds to others and not be so hurtful or judgmental.
I have one “big” thing I had to learn to accept about myself and I am currently struggling on. But the first step to accepting yourself is to be honest with yourself. Which means start understanding that some things are out of your control and that they make you who you are. So what I have been doing to help me with this is to just throw it out there (obviously only when the subject pops up lol). Alright so here it goes….I have hair on my belly button. To some people this is not a big deal, but to me this has been a problem and I have been hiding it since I was like 13 years old (when someone rudely pointed it out at a public pool). Being that I am now 24 years old I figured its time to start accepting it. Obviously it isn’t going away so I might as well learn to love it. Yes, I have thought about lazer hair removal but let’s be honest that’s crazy expensive and not even guaranteed to stop it completely. I have tried waxing but it didn’t work, so now I just shave it and pluck if I have to.
I have been doing very well with this. Some people still react childish about it when we get to talking about it or they see it but instead of getting upset I just laugh and joke about it with them. That let’s them realize that it doesn’t bother me and they lose their “fire”. If you take anything from this article please take this:
“Bullies only want to knock you down to their level of happiness. They will use anything they can to achieve this. If you show them that you are confident and that you can’t be broke, they will tire out and eventually stop, because nobody is going to put effort towards something that doesn’t benefit them”
Now that everyone is all caught up, it leads me back to modeling. I have recently resubmitted my application to Model Mayhem. I feel way more comfortable with myself and confident in my own skin. I got an email back asking that I update some of my photos and lengthen my bio. So I have done both of these and resubmitted it today. I hope to hear back from them soon. I plan to try and take you on this journey with me. Hope I hear some good news. See ya!!! 😉